I believe that healing is possible no matter what the wound. Every person has the capacity for resilience and healing. Sometimes, we just need a little bit of help to find it. The tools on this page are here to help you assess different areas of your life that may be in need of some healing.
Is it time to see a therapist?
You are concerned about behaviors you continue to do.
The behavior or feelings have gotten worse over the last several weeks or months.
You've tried to stop or reduce the behavior or feeling on your own, but struggle to do so.
You rely on your partner, family, or friends to "fix" or manage your current problems.
Everything feels intense.
Coping is becoming harder and harder.
You're having trouble concentrating on tasks or at work or school.
You've suffered from trauma and:
It keeps replaying or you are experiencing flashbacks.
You find it hard to feel safe.
You are on constant alert.
You find it difficult to trust others.
You are experiencing nightmares.
You are having unexplained physical symptoms like stomach / digestive issues, headaches, insomnia, fatigue, or muscle tension, that has no medical basis.
You're coping with your issues by using alcohol, prescription meds like opioids or benzodiazepines, marijuana or other drugs, sex, pornography, over-eating, restricting food intake, over-exercising, shopping, gambling, or other external behaviors.
You don't enjoy activities you once enjoyed.
Your relationships are strained.
Friends or family members have expressed concern for your well-being.
You find yourself in a rut or a loop of the same thinking, feeling, or behavior.
You feel perpetually overwhelmed and don't want to face the day.
You think, "I wish it would all be over. I wish I wasn't here."
If any one of the above statements rings true for you, then it is time to seek help from a licensed professional therapist.
The good news: You can heal. It is 100% possible and available for you. Sometimes it takes a few attempts to find the right person to help guide you in the healing process, so if you've tried therapy before and think, "it doesn't work for me," do not fear! There are about as many different types of effective therapies as there are therapists, and it's likely you just had a wrong fit.
While I am currently not taking on new clients for psychotherapy, the resource below will allow you to find therapists in your local area.
Tools for Self-Worth
from Daring Greatly
Why Worth Matters
Our relationships, our ability to show up in the world, the work we do, the way we love, all of these things are inextricably wrapped up in our sense of worth.
Brene Brown, leading researcher (and social worker) in the field of shame, worth, and resilience suggests that worth is not just something that happens to us. It is something we actively cultivate.
But how? How do we cultivate something we have not ever felt or experienced? We numb, we let our fear guide us, we need certainty, we control. Instead of our default modes of worrying what others think, of working to the bone for a sense of worth, of "shoulding" all over ourselves, what would happen if we really let go?
Letting go is not easy, and it is not comfortable. It requires first identifying the things we need to let go of and noticing when and where they show up.
Many of us say we want to "be authentic" or we "want to stop being anxious," but we don't know how to get there. The list to the left outlines the things that we hold onto that directly get in our way from living wholeheartedly.
The more we practice saying no, the more we practice rest, the more we take off our mask and show our messiness, the easier it gets.
For more work by Brene Brown visit BreneBrown.com
Why Food Matters
Our relationships with food say a lot about what we believe about the world and how we feel about ourselves.
Food is the easiest thing that we can exercise control over. Whether we restrict, binge, emotionally eat, over-exercise, or behave in any way with food and our bodies that goes against our natural hunger and satiety cues or need for rest, we are exercising control.
As Geneen Roth, author of Women, Food, and God writes, "To discover what you really believe, pay attention to the way you act and what you do when things don't go the way you think they should. Pay attention to how and what you spend your time, your money, and pay attention to the way you eat."
Our bodies are so wrapped up in our worth. We put to work the "if - then" formula:
"If I lose 5 pounds, then they'll want to date me."
"If I could just get my food under control, then everything else will be under
When we follow this formula, we give all of our power to outside forces. We become victims, blaming our genetics, our relationships, our x, y, or z for the things we are unhappy with.
We use food to fill the loneliness and emptiness we feel. It consumes our thoughts. When we obsess on food, we are no longer living in the present.
Our disregard for ourselves and our disbelief that things can be different keeps us unhappy and unhealthy. How does your relationship with food look?